No one likes to admit they don’t know something, but often it is the best answer when trying to figure out how to solve a personal problem. To get to a solution in personal problem solving, you have to get past the blame shifting, justifications, and excuses that we use to cover up the, “I don’t know”.
Until you are ready to take ownership of the problem, you will have no control or options for solving it.
“I don’t know why I am struggling with this problem, but I am willing to do the work to find a solution”.
There are 6 steps or strategies that you can follow to solve a personal problem:
Step 1 Define the problem
The problem on the surface often has underlying layers. To define the real problem that needs solving, you need to thoughtfully ask yourself “why”.
For example; here’s how you may initially define your problem:
“I get up every morning and dread going to work. I don’t know why”. (Let’s pretend we already eliminated it’s the boss you don’t like or the gossip/ complaining of your co-workers…) Why?
I feel like I’m working for the weekend. Enduring 5 miserable days for only 2 good ones. Why?
On the weekends, I get to choose my adventure. On the weekdays, I’m doing the boring tasks someone else pays me to do. Why?
I’m spending the majority of my time working in a job that has no meaning or purpose to me. Why?
I am settling for a paycheck because it’s safe, but I resent feeling trapped. I’d like to pursue my real interests and creative gifts but I am not sure I am willing to take the risk. I dread going to work every day because it feels like I am running out of time.
Step 2 Get comfortable with “I don’t know”
The above example is based on a concept called the 5 WHYS; by asking “why” at least 5 times you can get to the root cause of a situation or problem. Once you know the root cause, you can consider your choices to resolve it. I explain this in more depth in Getting to the Bottom of Why
Step 3 Think of possible solutions
Make a list of all of the solutions you can think of to the root problem. Take some time, and make a list. Leave it for a while and add to it when you get another idea.
Don’t edit the list or your thoughts- just write them all down. Nothing is too crazy at this point.
Think about your desired outcome. Consider what it is, not how you are going to get there. Use the creative side of your brain to imagine the possibilities. If the logical side of your brain starts taking over and trying to warn you of the risks, you will have a difficult time dreaming.
Get my free guide to help you find your creative voice. Have You Seen My Voice? 5 Questions to Unclutter Your Mind, Get Rid of the Noise, Get On With Your Dream
For our example above, you could… start researching on the weekends possible career changes that are more in line with your gifts. Start a side hustle business to encourage your creative side. Change your view of your job from time exchanged for a weekly paycheck to funding for my hobby or dream I want to pursue.
Step 4 Decide on a solution
Eliminate the solutions that are not possible or wise. For the remaining ones, consider the consequences- positive or negative. Ask, “What will happen if I did this?” or “What if I don’t do this?”
Make an IF/ THEN chart for each idea.
Write out the steps required for each possibility. Maybe one of your ideas could open up the possibility of another in the future. Could you get your Life Coaching Certification while working your full-time job and start setting up the infrastructure for your side business with a plan to exit the workplace when you get enough clients?
Think about where you want to go as a direction to head in instead of a destination to reach or a finish line to cross. What small step can you take to get you started?
Step 5 Try a Solution
Once you have decided on the solution you would like to pursue, try it out. Give it time to work, and make adjustments when and if needed. Keep moving forward.
Don’t look back, you’re not going that way
Step 6 Evaluate how it’s working
Give the solution you decided on some time- our brains try to convince us to go back to “safe” and “known” even if it’s not the best thing for us. Don’t doubt your efforts to make a change if it doesn’t go exactly as planned. Even if you need to go back to the drawing board and try something new.
Problem/ Solution Strategies
Remember the root problem in our example?
I am settling for a paycheck because it is safe, but I resent feeling trapped. I’d like to pursue my real interests and creative gifts but I am not sure I am willing to take the risk. I dread going to work every day because it feels like I am running out of time.
Even if you still have to get up and go to work every day, for now, you will feel more in control of your choices by following these 6 steps. You will be moving in a positive direction because you know what you want, and can start experimenting with the how. ” I don’t know opens endless possibilities.
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