What are emotional blind spots?

Living authentically requires awareness of your emotional blind spots. Blind spots that you are unaware of, or, have chosen to ignore. Awareness, curiosity, patience, and vulnerability can lead to action to improve your relationships and mindset.

Blind Spot Awareness

Have you ever taught someone how to drive? One of the hardest concepts to teach is the “blind spot”. The student is unaware of the possibility that there could be a semi-truck next to them that they can’t see.

Emotional blind spots are the same- we ALL have blind spots: we just don’t see them. The nature of a blind spot is that you can’t see them though others can.

We ALL have blind spots: we just don’t see them. The nature of a blind spot is that you can’t see them though others can.

Alfred Ells, The Resilient Leader

Your blind spots are impacting your life and your relationships.

Could this be why it is so easy for you to point out the fault and blame in conflicts on the other person in your relationship? It’s so obvious what their problem is- why can’t they see it?!

And they are thinking the same thing, about you.

Curiosity Leads to Awareness

Have you asked yourself, “Why do I react the way I do?” It usually sounds more like regret, “Why?! Why did I do that again?!”

You feel the frustration of circling around the same obstacles, again and again, without getting anywhere.

Taking some time of reflection to really dig deep into why the same pattern seems to repeat will take courage. Think about the situations that trigger you.

When was the first time you remember feeling this way and what conclusions did you come to, (probably unconsciously), that are determining your reactions?

Here’s an example.

I tend to do things myself so I know they will be done right. My kids have told me that they think it’s impossible to please me. Ouch! They used to scatter whenever we were getting ready for a big family gathering and I was hosting.

I was resentful because no one was helping me! I am doing all of the work and my husband and kids are nowhere to be found. I was clueless that I was miserable to be around, especially when I was feeling stressed.

When I started digging into when I started feeling this way, I remembered a time when I was a kid and my mom sent me down to the basement to get a roast out of the freezer. She told me exactly where it was- on the left, and it’s labeled “roast”. I went down to get it and I could not find it.

I panicked.

Finally, I had no choice but to go back up the stairs and tell my mom, “it’s not there”. She was obviously frustrated and marched me back down to the freezer, opened the door and the roast was exactly where she said it would be.

I felt incompetent. I was unaware for a long time that I was driven to make everything perfect and I made my kids feel incompetent.

Blind spots.

Curious about your own blind spots? Get my FREE GUIDE to ask yourself 5 important questions:

Be Patient With Yourself

Everyone has blind spots.

Going back to our analogy about driving, we all have to look over our shoulders. Blind spots exist for everyone- that’s why automakers have developed blind spot warning systems on side mirrors that flash lights and beep when something is in your blind spot. Even then, the warning is given to not rely on cameras but be aware of your entire surroundings.

Understanding this gives you compassion for others and you need to extend the same compassion to yourself. You will make mistakes, but you will also learn to better understand and manage your emotions.

Challenging deeply ingrained emotional patterns takes time and effort. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate small wins along the way.

Facing Blinds Spots Requires Vulnerability

Embracing your emotional blind spots can be challenging and uncomfortable. Especially if you are the one in a relationship that decided to be aware of yours and the other person is not quite there, yet. Your focus is on building stronger relationships and that includes your relationship with yourself.

Authenticity. The challenge and discomfort are worth it.

Authenticity. The challenge and discomfort are worth it.

Action

To address your emotional blind spots, you may need to seek help from a therapist or coach. They can help you practice mindfulness and self-reflection- to see what you have been missing.

A safe, caring mentor or coach can challenge blind spots and give you the gift of self-awareness. A good mentor or coach will do more than just give you a shoulder to cry on.

Need help? Ready to embrace change?

A good mentor or coach will do more than just give you a shoulder to cry on.

alfred ells

If this blog post made you go, “hmmm”; subscribe below for weekly updates.