Do you ever find yourself endlessly mulling over an idea, only to feel completely stuck when it’s time to act? You’re not alone. Many of us experience this and understanding why can be the first step in breaking free. Let’s talk about why motivation does not work and what does. Is more will power needed to achieve my goals?
The Motivation Trap: Why We Procrastinate
Here’s the truth: our brains are wired to avoid pain more than they are to seek pleasure. It’s part of what has kept us “safe” from our brain’s point of view.. This pain-avoidance mechanism can lead to procrastination and self-doubt, particularly when you’re contemplating a big change, like switching careers, starting a new project, or taking on a major life goal.
When faced with something that feels uncertain or daunting, your brain automatically looks for threats and reasons to hold back. The issue? This natural response is often overprotective, urging you to avoid anything remotely uncomfortable. It is not considering what is most beneficial in the long run.
The Cycle of Doubt
This pain-avoidance response creates a cycle: you think about a goal, then anticipate all the discomfort, rejection, or failure that could accompany it. Then, instead of getting started, you feel doubt, which leads to inaction, which leads to… well, more doubt. You might recognize the loop: doubt > inaction > disappointment > more doubt.
For example: You are an introvert, but you are feeling isolated and lonely staying at home. Especially when your friends are talking about the great time they had getting together. They invite you to join them for happy hour after work, and you get excited about not being isolated and lonely again this Friday night. But then, you start thinking, “What am I supposed to wear?” “What am I supposed to talk about?” “What if it’s too loud and crowded and I get overwhelmed?” Maybe it’s better for me to just go home and watch Netflix like I usually do…
But here’s the good news: you can break this cycle with a few strategic mindset shifts and tools. Let’s explore some practical ways to go from pain avoidance to action.
1. Embrace Small Steps and Micro-Actions
When you’re facing a major goal, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by the scope of what you want to achieve. Instead of focusing on the finish line, break your goal into small, manageable steps. This doesn’t just make the process feel less intimidating; it also gives your brain quick wins along the way, providing little bursts of dopamine that help fuel your motivation.
Action Tip: Start by writing down the smallest possible action you could take toward your goal. For example, if you want to write a book, start by setting aside 10 minutes to brainstorm. Once you’ve taken that small step, allow yourself to feel accomplished, and then schedule the next micro-action.
2. Reframe Negative Thoughts with Positive Language
When you start hearing that voice of doubt in your head, try counteracting it with reframing your thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this because I might fail,” try thinking, “I’m going to do this because it’s an opportunity to grow.” This doesn’t mean ignoring legitimate risks or challenges, but rather refocusing your thoughts toward what you stand to gain, rather than lose.
Our thoughts shape our reality. Positive language and reframing can help reshape your perception of the obstacles ahead, making it easier to commit to take the next step.
Action Tip: Keep a journal and jot down any negative thoughts that pop up. Then, actively rewrite each one in a more positive or constructive way. This practice will help you recognize and challenge unhelpful patterns of thinking.
3. Visualize Your Success—And the Rewards It Brings
Visualization is a powerful tool. Athletes use it to imagine themselves winning races, and public speakers visualize delivering their talks successfully. This technique helps you ‘rehearse’ the actions and outcomes you want, so when you do take those steps, they feel more familiar and less intimidating.
Take time to sit down and visualize what achieving your goal would look and feel like. This includes visualizing the sensory details of success, like how proud you’ll feel or how much satisfaction you’ll gain from completing your goal.
Action Tip: Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and vividly picture yourself achieving your goal. Focus on how it feels in the moment. This mental rehearsal primes your brain to believe that success is not only possible but within reach.
4. Surround Yourself with a Supportive Community
The people around you have a significant influence on your mindset. Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals can provide encouragement, accountability, and even inspiration. In a like-minded community, you’re more likely to feel motivated and less likely to allow self-doubt to creep in.
Think about joining a professional group, taking a class, or even engaging with online communities. The act of sharing your goals and hearing about others’ experiences can give you the courage to press on, even when self-doubt creeps in.
Action Tip: Coaching, whether 1:1 or in a group, can help you focus and strategically plan where you want to be.
Join a Facebook Community such as Someday:the8thdayoftheweek We take a virtual road trip toward our “someday” dream and help each other navigate the detours and construction along the way 🚗
Consider a group coaching program, such as The 6-wk Dream to Reality Roadmap: From Someday Dream to What’s Next! Get on the waitlist here
5. Work with a Coach to Overcome Self-Doubt and Stay Focused
Hiring a coach is an excellent way to accelerate your progress. Coaches can help you gain clarity, provide you with personalized strategies to achieve your goals, and help you navigate around your brain’s natural tendency to avoid pain. They’re skilled at helping you identify limiting beliefs, challenge negative thoughts, and develop a roadmap for success.
You can read more about what a life coach does here.
Coaches also provide a level of accountability that’s hard to match on your own. With a coach, you’re less likely to get caught up in self-doubt and more likely to focus on consistent progress, even when things get tough.
6. Set Meaningful, Authentic Goals That Truly Motivate You
We often feel doubt when pursuing goals that aren’t fully aligned with our true desires or values. Take the time to evaluate whether your goals are truly meaningful to you, rather than goals you think you “should” achieve. When a goal aligns with your values, it’s easier to find intrinsic motivation, and the steps to achieving it feel more natural and fulfilling.
Action Tip: Reflect on your values and how they align with your current goals. Ask yourself, “Is this something I genuinely want, or something I think I should want?” The clearer you are about your motivations, the easier it is to turn doubt into determined action.
Taking the First Step Toward Change
Understanding the brain’s tendency to avoid discomfort and focus on self-protection can make it easier to challenge those impulses. Embracing small steps, positive reframing, visualization, and seeking support from a coach or community can help you navigate through self-doubt and make meaningful progress toward your goals. Remember, growth often comes from discomfort, and taking the first step is the hardest part.
When you start moving in the direction of your goals, even small actions can build momentum. And as you break free from the cycle of doubt, you’ll find that each step brings you closer to a more confident, fulfilled version of yourself.
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